Pytheas the Greek

Pytheas the Greek enters R, his Acquaintance enters L simultaneously. Pytheas looking disconsolate. They meet in the middle as if they had met by chance in the street. No need for costumes: doing it in modern dress increases the absurdity.


A: Hello, Pytheas, discoverer of the Tin Islands eventually to be known as Britain, how are you on this fine afternoon in the fair & renowned port of Massalia, that will eventually be known as Marseilles, in this excellent year 300 BCE ....


The actor playing Pytheas becomes increasingly impatient


A: ... although I can't possibly know that, having no idea who Jesus will be, any notion of the significance of his birth ....

P (out of character, aside): Have you finished yet ?

A (ditto): Not quite, sorry ... (resuming exposition) & indeed lacking entirely the concept "Christ". How, I say, are you ?

P (evasively): Fine, fine.

A: Are you sure ? You seem a bit down in the mouth.

P: No, no, I'm alright, really.

A: Come on, you can tell me. There's something bothering you. What is it ?

P: Well .... there is something actually.

A: What is it ?

P: Have you heard what they're calling me in the agora, in the market-place ?

A: No - nothing bad, I hope.

P: That's just it. Nothing bad, but nothing good either. It's purely descriptive. My name is Pytheas & I'm a Greek so they're calling me Pytheas the Greek.

A: Well, what's wrong with that ?

P: You must admit, it hardly seems sufficient for a man of my achievements. I mean - I'm a major explorer ! - I discovered the Tin Islands !

A: You did indeed, there's no denying that.

P: It's just not fair. Why can't I have an epithet which accurately reflects my character & achievements ?

A: Like what ?

P: I don't know - Pytheas the Far-Sighted, Pytheas the Almost-Omniscient, Pytheas the Divine ... what I could really do with is one that made me irresistable to the Ladies.

A: How d'you mean ?

P: One that made me overwhelmingly attractive to women, so that I had to fight them off with ... er ... ah ... something suitable for the purpose ...

A: Steady on !

P: ... so that the whole thing became a complete pain & I was totally sated & bored & indifferent & every time a beautiful woman came on to me I could say quite honestly 'Oh no, please, just leave me alone, all I want's a cup of tea & a biscuit.'


Pause.


A: That's what's really bothering you, isn't it ?

P: Yes.

A: And not the name thing at all ?

P: Yes. I'm just sick of being Pytheas the Disregarded.

A: How about Pytheas the Dirty Fucker ?

P: Accurate - but hardly attractive !


Abrupt blackout.

Nick Clegg & 'The Birthday Party'

The Birthday Party by Harold Pinter is, in my opinion at least, a symbolic drama. The place & time it is situated in are apparently concrete - its setting is a parody of the kitchen sink dramas which were so fashionable when it was written - but still seem remarkably contemporary as a description of English life. The exchange between Meg & Petey at the opening of Act 1 has been had innumerable times I would suggest in real English life in the 50 years or so since it was written, though in the less crafted form actual conversation takes. Although what people do during the play, what happens in front of our eyes, is clear, the characters' motives & reasons for why they are doing what they are doing are left deliberately obscure. One important effect of this is that what happens applies & alludes to a much larger range of potential situations than if it was more specific. This is what I mean by saying it is a symbolic drama.


One situation The Birthday Party fits surprisingly well is Nick Clegg's recent difficulties over House of Lords reform. Nick Clegg works beautifully as Stanley Webber. I see Steve Richards & Andrew Rawnsley as Goldberg & McCann respectively, or David Cameron & George Osborne.


Consider the following exchange between Goldberg & Stanley at the start of the interrogation scene in Act 2:



GOLDBERG. Clegg, what were you doing yesterday ?

NICK. Yesterday ?

GOLDBERG. And the day before. What did you do the day before that ?

NICK. What do you mean ?

GOLDBERG. Why are you wasting everybody's time, Clegg ? Why are you getting in everybody's way ?

NICK. Me ? What are you -

GOLDBERG. I'm telling you, Clegg. You're a washout. Why are you getting on everybody's wick ?



That last question is surely the operative one for the Tories in relation to (not 'in respect of' !) Nick Clegg at the moment, & perhaps for the whole of the electorate as well, or large parts of it.


Consider also Stanley's long speech to Meg in Act 1 about the concert he once played. A few alterations, & it fits Nick Clegg to a T:



NICK. Politics ? I've done politics all over the world. All over the country. (Pause.) I once formed a Coalition.

MEG: A Coalition ?

NICK (reflectively). Yes. It was a good one, too. They were all there that night. Every single one of them. It was a great success. Yes. A Coalition. At Westminster.

MEG. What did you wear ?

NICK (to himself ). I had unique negotiating powers. Absolutely unique. They came up to me. They came up to me & said they were grateful. Champagne we had that night, the lot. (Pause.) Yes. Westminster. Then after that, you know what they did ? They carved me up. Carved me up. It was all arranged, it was all worked out. Lords reform. I introduced proposals for Lords reform. Good ones too. But the Tories voted them down. A fast one. They pulled a fast one. I'd like to know who was responsible for that. (Bitterly.) All right, Jack, I can take a tip. They want me to crawl down on my bended knees. Well I can take a tip ... any day of the week.

A Little Light Atheism

I would like to see the following refuted:


The statement There is a God is one for which there is no evidence; the statement There is no God is one for which there is no evidence to contradict it.


This seems to me unanswerable. It is no good getting lofty (You're simply unable to understand the mysteries of Faith) or offended (Are you really suggesting I'm just making this up ?). Neither of these actually answers the point.

I am aware that there is no evidence for the existence of God, but I find belief in him/her/it comforting, consoling, & it gives me strength & direction seems to me an honest position. To go beyond this & assert there IS a God is simply that, pure assertion, asserted more shrilly the more it is questioned.

To those who say Without God what is the basis for ethics & morality ? I say - how can something that doesn't exist, i.e. God, be the basis for anything ?

Click on the label atheism to see all of my thoughts on this topic on this blog